Food Wars Or Why Icecream Should Not Die
by Morpha
Summary: Very insane story. Insane just like my other ones. Too insane. Ah well.


Authors note: K. I don't own Gundam, I wish i did. Don't sue me.  
Oh yeah. And if you send me flames I will simply turn into a pheonix   
and bask in the heat. So I don't see the point. Also I wrote this  
because I had a lot of stress at the time and had fun making up this   
insane story. So enjoy. And support Mikocon. ^_^  
  
Food Wars Or Why Icecream Should Not Die  
By Morpha (Quatre's faithful Miko)  
  
Narrator: In the former kitchen of the Gundam boys, a war has   
broken out. The assination of Triple Decker Chocolate Fudge icecream  
has brought peace to an end. Seeing the other groups weakness, the  
eggs preformed a coup d' etat on the bacon beginning the war. The   
group consists of the Eggs, the Bacon, the Pancakes, the Cereal, and  
the Grapefruit. Tension has hit the kitchen every morning, but it's   
this morning that the Eggs will find sabatoge.  
  
Wufei creeps in the dark kitchen and flips on the lights.   
  
Wufei: MARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Quatre runs down the stairs, while Duo slides down the banister, and  
Trowa and Heero walk down. Trowa grins. (I don't like that grin)  
They enter the kitchen to find the five forts at which each leader  
sits and eats. The Egg fort, Wufei's, has been ruined and a little  
flag that has a picture of a Grapefruit stands on top of the debrie.  
  
Duo: What happened to your fort Wufei?  
  
Wufei: *points to Trowa* Him! He destroyed my fort!   
  
Heero: Trowa? Never!  
  
Wufei: Then explain this! *takes the little flag and holds it up*  
  
Trowa: I admit. I did ruin your fort.  
  
Quatre: But why?  
  
Trowa: Because I sensed foul play on his side. And anyways...  
  
Duo: Yes?  
  
Trowa: *In a little four year old whiny voice* HE ATE FLUFFY!  
  
Wufei: YOU ONNA! IT'S A GRAPEFRUIT NOT A PET! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO  
EAT IT!  
  
Trowa: You were jealous of Fluffy! Because your eggs didn't love you  
like my grapefruit love me!  
  
Wufei: NOT TRUE!  
  
Heero: Fluffy? Wasn't that the grapefruit you walked every morning.  
  
Trowa: *nods*  
  
Duo: Of all the lame things.  
  
Wufei: You shouldn't talk! I see you kiss your bacon!  
  
Duo: THAT'S BECAUSE ...because... IT WAS ONCE A PIG! BESIDES! Heero   
sings to his cereal!  
  
Heero: In your dreams!  
  
Duo: Why would I dream of you! I dream about my bacon!  
  
Quatre walks over to his fort and tries his hardest not to laugh.  
  
Wufei: Well at least I don't dress my troops like Quatre!  
  
Quatre: *turns around* So what if I do!?  
  
Wufei: Food dosen't wear clothes!  
  
Quatre: Do you want them to be nekkid?  
  
Duo: WUFEI LIKES NEKKID FOOD! I bettcha he looks at magazines of food.  
Porno food!  
  
Wufei: Your sick! I declare war on all of you!  
  
Ten minutes later each of them are at their forts. Duo has a banner of  
pigs with army hats, Heero a banner of rabid cheerio's, Trowa with a  
Grapefruit chewing an egg, Quatre with pancakes that are wearing  
clothes, and Wufei with eggs that are holding swords. After a second  
of tension Wufei stands up.  
  
Wufei: I would like all of you to know that...my eggs and I feel that  
you have brought injustice to us and that we shall bring honor to  
our--  
  
Duo throws a piece of bacon at Wufei. Wufei wipes it off his face  
that is now scarlet red.  
  
Duo: I never liked long speeches. * a boiled egg hits his head* Ow.  
Boiled? Ha! Is that the best you can--- *another eggs hits him* do.  
  
The egg is raw making egg goop fall down his face.  
  
Trowa: THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES!  
  
Wufei: I AM THE RULES! *throws a raw egg at Trowa* At least MY banner  
looks decent! Yours is a disgrace! Now suffer the wrath of Scrambled,  
sunnyside,poached,and overeasy!!! HAHAHAH!!!!  
  
Trowa: Yeah. You must have the wrong banner. Only rabid banners are a  
disgrace. *ducks as a overeasy flys over him*  
  
Heero: *grunt* Banners don't matter. It's the skill of the food!  
*chucks cheerios at Wufei and Trowa*  
  
Trowa: *one sticks on him* That was meaningLESS!  
  
The cheerio starts to chew away at his clothes, while the cheerio's  
work on Wufei's fort.  
  
Wufei: AGAINST THE RULES BIG TIME! *throws a rabid cheerio at Heero's  
fort*  
  
Heero throws the cheerio at Duo's fort. Instead of the fort it hits   
Duo's head. The cheerio starts to eat at his braid.  
  
Duo: ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG! *rips cheerio out of his hair* MAXWELL JR!  
(that's his braids name) I'll show you the true meaning of the word  
SHINIGAME! *Throws sizziling hot bacon at everyone's fort*  
  
Heero: *points at Duo and does his tickle me elmo on speed laugh*   
Like that will hurt my.. MY FORT IS ON FIRE!!!!!!!  
  
Quatre's stays unharmed, while the others catch on fire.  
  
Quatre: *reading* It's good to be prepaRED!   
  
A pig with an army hat walks behind his fort and eats his book.  
  
Quatre: *stands up* THAT WAS EXPENSIVE!  
  
Everyone throws food at him.  
  
Duo: So you like my pet pig do ya?  
  
Quatre: I am calm, I am calm, I am NOT CALM! *takes out pancakes*   
  
Trowa: Pancakes! What good will pancakes... Quatre?  
  
Quatre has an insane glint in his eyes. (Ya know. The look in episode  
21) He looks up at them and laughs insanely.  
  
Quatre: I haha... I hahah...I WILL KILL YOU!   
  
Duo: OH MY GOODNESS HE'S INSANE! I MUST SAVE MY PIG!! *calls back pig*  
Kento! Sage! Sai! Rowen! Ryo! COME BACK!!!  
  
Quatre throws razor pancakes at everyone.   
  
Wufei: THAT'S NOT IN THE RULES!   
  
His ponytail is cut off by a random pancake.  
  
Wufei: My..my PONYTAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Wufei lunges at Trowa. Trowa takes a grapefruit out and squirts him in  
the eye.  
  
Trowa: SUFFER THE WRATH OF MY GRAPEFRUIT! HAHAHAH!!  
  
Wufei: MY EYE! AAAA!!!!! ITS ACID!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: I HATE PIGS!!!!!!  
  
Duo: STAY AWAY FROM MY PIGS!!!!!!!  
  
Pigs: OINK!!!! *the pigs latch onto Heero's arms*  
  
Heero: OMAE O KOROSU PIGS!!!!!!!!!  
  
Meanwhile in the midst of this insane fight, Blue Fire, Shini, and  
Morpha walk in carrying donughts.  
  
Morpha: Oh my. What happened?  
  
Shini: Their fighting! With food?  
  
Blue Fire: And we have..food.  
  
Boys: CHARGE!!!!!!!!  
  
Girls: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Several items are thrown at the miko's as they drop the donughts and   
leave. Well more like run out for dear life.  
  
Heero: THE DONUGHTS ARE MINE!!!!!  
  
Wufei: NO MINE!!  
  
Duo: MINE!!!!!  
  
Trowa: MINE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Quatre: *lightening flashes* Mine.  
  
Quatre is standing over the box with syrup. Wufei immediatley cowers  
behind his fort. (He's afraid of syrup. Bad childhood exprience)  
  
Duo: Now *gulp* Quatre don't do anything rash.   
  
Heero: Put the syrup down and walk away from the donughts.  
  
Trowa: Please?  
  
Quatre: No. I said not to fight. But no. No one listened did they?  
I did nothing to you, yet you attacked me. I won't back down not till  
we stop fighting.  
  
Duo: It will never stop! I CAN GO OUT AND BUY FOOD ANYTIME AND ATTACK  
YOU ALL!  
  
Trowa: I CAN TAKE A GRAPEFRUIT AND BLIND YOU!  
  
Heero: I CAN KILL YOU!  
  
Quatre: Yes you can do all that. But I, I , I have a cellphone.  
  
Wufei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Heero: You -- you wouldn't.  
  
Trowa: But Quatre.  
  
Quatre: I can call Hilde, Relena, Catherine, and Sally right now.  
So I suggest you all give up and say I AM the victor.  
  
Wufei crawls on the floor toward Quatre and sobs on his pant leg.  
  
Wufei: Please...no....don't... I give up...this unhonorable..battle.  
You win. *cries* Her hair scares me.  
  
Quatre: *turns toward the others* I'm waiting.  
  
Duo: I give in. I don't want to be molested by Hilde.  
  
Heero: I can't stand Relena. I give in only for my sake of not dying.  
  
Trowa: NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! She has such..bad...taste..for..  
clothes...please...no..you win.  
  
The insane glint vanishes from his eyes and he gives his kawaii little  
smile.  
  
Quatre: Good. Now. I think that we should all go out to eat and we'll  
come back later to clean up. I am going to get ready. *turns around  
for a moment* AND NO MORE BREAKFAST WARS! *walks away*  
  
Trowa: I'm goin to get ready too.  
  
Heero: I better go wash my hair.   
  
Duo: Yeah. I better go in my room and coax Maxwell Jr... I mean  
get ready.  
  
They all leave Wufei who is now laughing insanely.  
  
Wufei: Breakfast may be over. But there's always lunch. BWAHAHAHAH!!  
  
The End... Or is it?   



End file.
